Saturday, March 13, 2010

Ugh!!




Sometimes I wish I didn't have to worry about anything. That money problems were non existant and I lived a worry free live. Unfortunatley, that's not the case. So I'll stay on the grind making my $$$ to pay my bills till schools done and I don't have to work at clubs anymore.

Can you tell I hate this shit!?! Ugh. In need of a sugar daddy. Taking applications!!!


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Thursday, March 11, 2010

One of those days..

Ahh.. Today.. What can I say.. It's been one of those days.. I have felt soooooo lonely today. Not sure why. I feel like I am looking for attention in all the wrong places. I recognize it but I just want attention. I am honestly so lonely when Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays come around. It sucks. I go home to an empty place.. Just my doggy.. I sit there and drink wine till I'm tipsy then fall asleep. NOT a good thing. :( Guess I need a hobby.. If I had internet I'd blog when I got home but unfortunately, I am B-R-O-K-E and can't afford that shit. I need to figure out a way to use my Iphone as a modem.. Then I'd be good.. Anywho.. Back to work.

XOXO

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Can't sleep with a man who dims my shine..




Jeez.. Where do I begin.. :) I'm overflowing with happiness and excitment right now. I officially started the Aveda institute yesterday. It's something I've been wanting to do for the past 2 years so it's kind of a big deal to me. I've always loved Aveda products and have always admired why they stand for, etc. Anyone who's ever used an Aveda product will agree that their stuff smells great. I feel like for once in my life I am following thru with something. I've always been into makeup and hair and fashion and I am finally taking a step towards making that my career. I know I just started but just being there is so fulfilling. Words can't even describe.

Although I am very happy to be back in school and working towards a career and a goal, I am bummed that I will not be spending much time with my son while I'm attending school. I am fortunate enough to have his dad and his family available to help with little man but I miss him so much already :( I know it's a sacrifice I have to take right now in order to better our lives in the long run but man... It's not east.. I'm trying to keep in mind the bigger picture. Ultimately, I'm doing this for him. To improve his quality of life. It's funny because I close my eyes and try to think of what my life will be like when I'm done with school and making good $$$.. This is what I see...

Rodney and I living in a cute little townhouse here in Miami, happy, stress free, comfortable, indepedent, involved in lots of activities with him, our doggy Zoe, a big golden retriever, a little fishtank in rodneys room, I can go on for days.

When I say I close my eyes and I see it, I mean that. I can see it unfolding in my mind. Crazy? Nah.. I'm just a dreamer. :)

Regardig the title of this post.. It's from lady gagas song I like it rough. I really can relate to that line. I was in a relationship that just ended for 3 years. During those 3 years i feel that my shine was dimmed. I was outshined at all times. He couldn't handle being second place. Does that make sense? He always one up'd me. It's time for me to shine. It's MY time baby.. No one will dim my shine this time around.

Either you shine with me, or get out my way..

Peace, love, and happiness.

Xoxo


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