It's a new day

Let me start off by saying that I woke up today in the best mood ever. I'm currently at the airport waiting for my flight to Massachusetts. I can't explain in words how happy and excited I am. My b/f and I are embarking on a road trip next week. This is something I have always, always, always wanted to do, however, never really had the opportunity to do so. This is the game plan.. Leave Massachusetts next Thursday early early in the AM.. Like 5 AM early, get to NYC around 10:30 ish, spend the day in NYC, then drive down Thursday night to DC, spend the night there with his family, then explore DC on Friday, then head to FL on Saturday and make it to Orlando on Sunday, just in time to watch Erykah Badu.. :) Which, BTW- He surprised me with tickets for my birthday to watch her live at the house of blues. I think the love gods have finally answered my prayers. I know, I know, it's just the beginning. The "Honey Moon" phase.. But let me say one thing.... I want to make sure this "Honey Mood" phase, never fades.. I want to feel this way forever.. I want to make sure both of us take pride and joy in making eachother happy. There is a quote that I absolutely love "Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." If I can make him happy, he will in turn make me happy. It's a revolving door. I wont go on and on about my permanent stay on cloud 9 but I just wanted to share a little bit of my happinesss with the world. ;)

I hope everyone has a GREAT, FABULOUS week and remember that life is too short to be un-happy. Do what makes you happy even if it only makes sense to you.. DO IT.

Oh.. On another note, I dropped out of hair school. Yes.. I am a beauty school drop out. lol I really just didn't feel it's what I want to do for the rest of my life. I felt like the passion I thought I had just wasn't there. My classmates would be so excited when they had to cut someones hair.. Me on the other hand, I was dodging clients like bullets in a crossfire. -___- Def not the way I should feel. Soooo.. With that being said, I start College again in January to work towards completing my pre-requisites to enter the nursing program. My goal is to be a RN by the time I am 30 working in the NICU or the NeoNatal division in a hospital helping babies in need or assisting with the delivery of babies. :)

I think I've spoken enough. lol off to grab a bite to eat before my flight. Wish me luck. I will have lots of pics from my road trip.

Wow..

All I can say is wow. I don't understand women.. I mean.. Seriously? I don't have patience for baby momma drama. Especially when it's with me. It's taken me a long time to get to the happy place I am at right now. Free of negativity and as stress free as possible. I'm not letting that shit back in. Sorry. Next!!


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Isn't it ironic..

I swear this life I live has such a sense of humor. Lol I guess everything does happen for a reason. Every action has a reaction and that is just the way it works. :)

On a brighter note, Mr.Perfect Is still around. He's pretty amazing. Sweet as honey.. :) definately bf material. His mentality is way beyond his years and he is so grounded. I love it. We'll see where this lovely life of mine takes this.

Oh.. I almost forgot.. I'm taking a leave from school. My little man is not doing so well in school himself so I have to step back from doing me and focus on him for a bit.. Besides, afterall, I dont know that hair is for me. I feel no excitement what-so-ever.. :-/

Till next time, toodles.. <3

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Could it be??

Is it possible to find someone so perfect? I mean, i'm sure he has his flaws but the way i feel right now, I can certainly deal with them. <3


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Ugh..

I really hate when I get my thought motors going. I mean, I was having a good day, not that I won't after this, but I was in a great mood and I came to the mall with a friend and I'm waiting for her by the M.A.C store. That couldve been me working there. Instead though, I decided to go against my gut instinct and I moved away with my ex. Honestly, if there is anything in my life that I regret, it's that right there.. Ugh. Things happen for a reason right? I mean, that's what we say..

Hope everyone is having a FABULOUS day. Xoxo <3


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Life is so ironic..

I have to say, lately, life has dealt me some pretty sweet cards...

Loving my life right now. <3


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Thoughts..

I woke up this morning with so much on my mind. I'm seriously having second thoughts about school. As much as I love the Aveda lifestyle and they're products etc. I don't see myself doing this for the rest oft life. Shouldn't I be excited about going to school and taking guests? Well. I'm not. I dread it. I dread when we are doing hands on. I don't think I should feel this way. I have much more of a passion for makeup and quite frankly, they do a 1 day class on makeup. -_- I don't want to quit school and be a quitter but at the same time I don't want to waste time and money on something I don't absolutely love. Ugh. Why is life so complicated. Why can't somethings just be a little easier? I don't get it.


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Feeling gooooooooooooood...

Today was a pretty awesome day. I have to say.. My weekend in whole has been pretty freaking awesome. Friday I got a job, Saturday I spent the day with my munchkin, today he got his baseball trophy AND I hit the gym. 2 days in a row.. I'm proud of myself. lol I know, I know.. I have a lot more to go but hey, you gotta start somewhere.. I'm feeling really good about this new job. It's basically selling websites for a company a friend of mine used to work for. I'm getting paid hourly PLUS 10% of whatever business I bring in.. Sooo.. Our logic is, we need to get in shape so that when we are roaming the streets of Miami, we look good AND we can educate people on our company and the benefits their business can have with a bomb ass website. :) I'm really smiling right now. lol

Next weekend is memorial day weekend. That translates to "Ghetto infestation on South Beach" Weekend. I do not by any means want to be ANYWHERE near the beach. I'm supposed to meet up with B next week. He'll be in town but I don't know if we can make it happen. I hope we can.. I'm curious to see how I'd feel if I saw him again.. it's been like 6 months now. I have to admit, i'm slightly nervous.

Ok.. I'm sore as all hell.. Every muscle in my body hates me right now.. Feels sooo good though. lol Ok i'm off to read some blogs and then off to dreamland..

Night Night

Sigh..

Confused till further notice.




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All I can do is laugh..

God, universe, higher power.. Whatever you may be... You sure have a sense of humor. Not a dull moment manages to slip through the cracks. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not to be honest. Life is great when it's fun and interesting but sometimes you throw these curveballs at me and I'm left in the dark. I try hard to keep my head above water, yet you continue to bring me under with you. All I ask is that you let just a little bit of sunshine peak through the clouds. That's all. Please grant me this one wish.

Sincerely,
Jeanette


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"Oh my, my, my my.. I'm feeling highh.. My money's gone... I'm all alone"

Hello world.. I am happy to announce that I passed the first phase of the Aveda Institute. :) Words can't describe how happy I am for that. This was an extremely stressful week. Thank god it's over.. Now next week, onto A1. :) Exciting. Other than that, things are going pretty good.. Might be moving into a bigger place. Still not sure about it but we'll see if it works out. I hope it does because it'll be a good move.. Where I am at now doesn't have a full kitchen and it's a studio so I'd love some kitchen space and some privacy. As for work, I've been working from home so things are starting to look up. :) I feel like things are finally falling into place..

I finally let my guard down and actually let someone into my bubble.. He's been around for a while. He's a friend of my cousins. He's really sweet. We will see how that goes. I'm not in a rush to get into anything honestly but it is nice to have someone to talk to and watch movies with. :) I enjoy the company.

On a not so bright note.. I've gained weight. :( Like 8-9 pounds. NO BUENO. I have a gym membership, I just have to figure out a way to get into a routine.. I'm starting to eat a lot healthier.. Well, aside from the Curry chicken I had earlier.. :) lol I need to get back on a strict diet and work out. I know I can loose the weight. I've done it before.

Well.. I'm out.. Have to blow dry my hair because lil'ol me has a nice lunch date tmrw. :) Hope everyone is doing GREAT. XOXO

Sigh..

Perfection...

Today was a...

Today was a pretty weird day to say the least. I was in class, having a pretty decent day when all of a sudden my mood just made a complete 360. Not sure why, not sure what brought it on but for some reason, my whole moral, my whole vibe just changed. I have so much weight on my shoulders right now and I walk around like it doesn't phase me. Like, ehhh, it's nothing. I consider myself to be a very strong women. At times... Guess today wasn't one of my stronger days. I have been non stop thinking about what am I going to do for work.. What about my bills.. My rent.. My car.. My phone.. All of these bills will be due soon and I have about $200 to my name.. I had to borrow money to pay HALF of my rent.. Sigh... I just need to vent.. Even if non one reads this, at least it's off my chest. I got fired from the night club I was working at as a VIP waitress because they hired girls with more experience and who could bring in more business. Although I am upset about the fact that I lost my main source of income, I can't be mad at them. They are keeping in mind what is best for THEIR business and what will make THEM more money. At the end of the day, I was just an employee. They can care less about my responsibilities. I'm currently trying to go back to Hooters for the time being till I can find something better but even that has turned into a mission. The old manager apparently got transferred to a new location so now there is a new manager who knows nothing about me of my history with the company. >.< I just feel like things are all falling on me at once.

I started school in March. (I think I posted this before) I'm studying cosmetology at the Aveda institute of South Florida. It is an investment I decided to make for my future as well as a HUGE sacrifice for a better life for my son. I am sacrificing a lot of quality time with him to attend school and though I know it will be worth it in the long run, it is sooooo hard to get through all this time I spend alone while he is at his fathers. Kills me inside.. I mean, he is my world.. My life.. My reason for living, breathing, being, waking up in the morning.. My one true motivation in life. Everything that I do, I do for him.. I swear that sometimes, while I'm making the hour commute to school, I think about how things will be like when I'm done, when I have a job at a successful high end salon, when I can afford something more than an effa friend of the families house. When little man can have his own room.. Justiciency at thinking about what the rewards will be bring the biggest smile to my face. Keeps me going..

Thanks for listening. I just needed to vent a little.. Seems that's all I use this for.

<3

Ugh!!

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to worry about anything. That money problems were non existant and I lived a worry free live. Unfortunatley, that's not the case. So I'll stay on the grind making my $$$ to pay my bills till schools done and I don't have to work at clubs anymore.

Can you tell I hate this shit!?! Ugh. In need of a sugar daddy. Taking applications!!!


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One of those days..

Ahh.. Today.. What can I say.. It's been one of those days.. I have felt soooooo lonely today. Not sure why. I feel like I am looking for attention in all the wrong places. I recognize it but I just want attention. I am honestly so lonely when Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays come around. It sucks. I go home to an empty place.. Just my doggy.. I sit there and drink wine till I'm tipsy then fall asleep. NOT a good thing. :( Guess I need a hobby.. If I had internet I'd blog when I got home but unfortunately, I am B-R-O-K-E and can't afford that shit. I need to figure out a way to use my Iphone as a modem.. Then I'd be good.. Anywho.. Back to work.

XOXO

Can't sleep with a man who dims my shine..

Jeez.. Where do I begin.. :) I'm overflowing with happiness and excitment right now. I officially started the Aveda institute yesterday. It's something I've been wanting to do for the past 2 years so it's kind of a big deal to me. I've always loved Aveda products and have always admired why they stand for, etc. Anyone who's ever used an Aveda product will agree that their stuff smells great. I feel like for once in my life I am following thru with something. I've always been into makeup and hair and fashion and I am finally taking a step towards making that my career. I know I just started but just being there is so fulfilling. Words can't even describe.

Although I am very happy to be back in school and working towards a career and a goal, I am bummed that I will not be spending much time with my son while I'm attending school. I am fortunate enough to have his dad and his family available to help with little man but I miss him so much already :( I know it's a sacrifice I have to take right now in order to better our lives in the long run but man... It's not east.. I'm trying to keep in mind the bigger picture. Ultimately, I'm doing this for him. To improve his quality of life. It's funny because I close my eyes and try to think of what my life will be like when I'm done with school and making good $$$.. This is what I see...

Rodney and I living in a cute little townhouse here in Miami, happy, stress free, comfortable, indepedent, involved in lots of activities with him, our doggy Zoe, a big golden retriever, a little fishtank in rodneys room, I can go on for days.

When I say I close my eyes and I see it, I mean that. I can see it unfolding in my mind. Crazy? Nah.. I'm just a dreamer. :)

Regardig the title of this post.. It's from lady gagas song I like it rough. I really can relate to that line. I was in a relationship that just ended for 3 years. During those 3 years i feel that my shine was dimmed. I was outshined at all times. He couldn't handle being second place. Does that make sense? He always one up'd me. It's time for me to shine. It's MY time baby.. No one will dim my shine this time around.

Either you shine with me, or get out my way..

Peace, love, and happiness.

Xoxo


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Frrreeeeddddoooommmm...

Didn't know it would feel so overwhelmingly good to have no one to answer to.. I love it. I'm sure a few months from now there will be a post about how lonely I am but I'm enjoying this happiness while it lasts. I've been spending loads of time with little man, making time for myself. It's wonderful. Goes to show that what we percieve as the end of the world (ie: B leaving to LA) can actually be a blessing in disguise.

Happy Monday folks. Have a good one and remember, live each day to the fullest because you never know if you'll make it to tmrw.

Xoxo


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Maybe I'll see you next lifetime...

Erykah Badu's song- next lifetime is Replaying in my head now. Maybe, just maybe...




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The start of a long interesting journey..

I moved into my new place this past weekend. I have to say. It feels great.. Things seem to be falling into place. :) little man is doing good in his new school, work can be better but hey, I have a job so I'm thankful. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I plan on having some me Time for a bit. I want to enjoy my life alone with my munchkin. The past 3 years have been quite the learning experience to say the least.

Night night.



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And.. I'm off..

Vegas bound baby.. Lots of pictures to come. This year has had a great start. New place, visiting a new place. :) love it.

"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." cliche and corny, I know but sooo appropriate.

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New year, fresh start, real me...

2010 is among us and I have to say, I couldn't be happier. I feel that this year has so much in store for not only myself, but for my son and I both. As mentioned in my previous post, things seemed to be falling apart but I actually see things a little different now. I had an epiphany. :) this is probably, in some way shape or form a blessing in disguise. I must say, yes, I did love him but I have not been IN love with him in quite some time. We stayed together because after you're with someone for so long, it's a routine. That's what we were. Routine that shouldve been broken a long time ago.

Little man started a new school today. It's a Montessori charter school in the area were moving to. He had a pretty good first day. He said he made 3 friends and one girlfriend. Lol he will def be a heartbreaker when he gets older. I leave for Vegas on Wednesday. I can't wait. Even though I won't be able to do half of what I had planned due to some financial set backs, I'll make the best of it. :)

Night night.


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