Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Today was a...

Today was a pretty weird day to say the least. I was in class, having a pretty decent day when all of a sudden my mood just made a complete 360. Not sure why, not sure what brought it on but for some reason, my whole moral, my whole vibe just changed. I have so much weight on my shoulders right now and I walk around like it doesn't phase me. Like, ehhh, it's nothing. I consider myself to be a very strong women. At times... Guess today wasn't one of my stronger days. I have been non stop thinking about what am I going to do for work.. What about my bills.. My rent.. My car.. My phone.. All of these bills will be due soon and I have about $200 to my name.. I had to borrow money to pay HALF of my rent.. Sigh... I just need to vent.. Even if non one reads this, at least it's off my chest. I got fired from the night club I was working at as a VIP waitress because they hired girls with more experience and who could bring in more business. Although I am upset about the fact that I lost my main source of income, I can't be mad at them. They are keeping in mind what is best for THEIR business and what will make THEM more money. At the end of the day, I was just an employee. They can care less about my responsibilities. I'm currently trying to go back to Hooters for the time being till I can find something better but even that has turned into a mission. The old manager apparently got transferred to a new location so now there is a new manager who knows nothing about me of my history with the company. >.< I just feel like things are all falling on me at once.

I started school in March. (I think I posted this before) I'm studying cosmetology at the Aveda institute of South Florida. It is an investment I decided to make for my future as well as a HUGE sacrifice for a better life for my son. I am sacrificing a lot of quality time with him to attend school and though I know it will be worth it in the long run, it is sooooo hard to get through all this time I spend alone while he is at his fathers. Kills me inside.. I mean, he is my world.. My life.. My reason for living, breathing, being, waking up in the morning.. My one true motivation in life. Everything that I do, I do for him.. I swear that sometimes, while I'm making the hour commute to school, I think about how things will be like when I'm done, when I have a job at a successful high end salon, when I can afford something more than an effa friend of the families house. When little man can have his own room.. Justiciency at thinking about what the rewards will be bring the biggest smile to my face. Keeps me going..

Thanks for listening. I just needed to vent a little.. Seems that's all I use this for.

<3

2 comments:

SunshineSugar said...

thanks for following hun. just read a few of your posts and my interest is peaked -very real and what a lot more people feel like too but are afraid to admit. ttyl! x3

Juici said...

I just started following. As Sunshine said, very real. I like it! <3